The problem I have with marriage .. and with my past life is that Love is not enough. Love is not all you need. And Love will not make a marriage work.
I don't know who wrote the song but he was selling a line of bullshit.
But as I move away from my old life ... Hate is not enough either. I just don't want to hate. I just can't hate. I have had so many bad experiences over the past year .. yet I still feel love for these people who used to be close to me.
I have been lied too, betrayer, cheated on, stole from, mislead, gossiped about about, plotted against, arrested, and after all that is said and done .. I still miss her and love her.
I am not sure if this makes me pathetic or just dependent.
For every one thing I can say about my ex I still know deep in my soul that there are 20 great things about her that I can say as well. SO how do I move on?
I've made the decision lately. With the help of my last GF (who is amazing btw) I am such a fucking wreck that I do not wish to ruin anyone life by trying to start a romantic relationship with them. No one deserves me and the hell I go thru nightly. I think the reason I look for a relationship is purely selfish.
So out of respect for the people I may meet I have decided to not date for the undetermined future.
Not because I still love my Ex; because I still love all three of them.
Not because I want to focus on my kids .. because as much as I love them ... I am still unable to see them.
Simply because I still have yet to find an answer to what does Love really have to do with relationships. The success and the failure of a relationship is far more complicated than just loving them.
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