So its a new year.

So its a new year.  I guess that is suppose to be a good thing.  Every year people create these resolutions.


I never saw the need.  I figured if someone wanted change in their life they would institute that change. 

Do I want to change.  I stayed home on Dec 31rst.  The reason is because I did not ask my GF to spend it with me.  I guess the last 19 years and the last two women I have been in relationships have been the planners.  I never knew it.

I am uncomfortable making plans.  I dislike deciding where we go to eat.  When I am alone I cant even decide for myself where to eat.  I usually choose based solely on price and ease of travel.   Subway made 2 dollar sandwiches in Dec.  That may have been the high lite of my year.

I start this new year not caring.  I think it is a good thing.  I dont cyber search what my X wife and X friend do anymore.  I dont get angry at the betrayal as much as I used to.  I seem to be in a solid state of non negative emotions.  This is a good thing for me.

I dont know it is the new med I am on or is it just me getting back to normal; but sometimes just not giving a fuck is the best we can hope for.

I still have some court dates.  I miss my kids.  I may go to jail for splashing water; not because it is criminal but because I refuse to change how I am for a court system.  I dont know if I will have enough money to live past march.  I made need  a third job.

Some parts of me wants to hire a lawyer but the non caring part just doesnt see the need to make the effort.

She took away my possessions.  Attachment to possession is not something that is entirely to important to me.

I can live with this.  The only real change I seek is just to see my kids.  I do miss them.

New Year