Mindy & Melinda

I thought my life was good.  I thought my life was normal.  What I did not understand is that living with an Aspie has slowly destroyed who it was I loved in my Wife.  he constant grind of confrontation made her jagged.  The constant internet use made her lonely.  And my lack of understanding Social cues and my thought that I knew best stopped me from not praising her every day.

I thought she was lovely when I picked her up.  I get that she was a needy attention whore .. but I did not mind.

What I did mind is when I was not enough she sought attention from other men.  First when we were engaged and later on during the marriage.  But I can forgive; I can try anew ... but I still wrecked it.

And Slowly Mindy transformed into Melinda.  I caused it; I broke her.  I knew that she needed 100% of my attention everyday.  I knew she needed me to believe in her made up stories and I know she wanted me to think she was the only woman on this planet.

But I failed.  I thought honestly was better.  But it was just Bitter

I thought we would grow together and always be together . . but in reality she grew to hate my quirks.  She detested my stories; she hated my sense of humour; and my inability to face her and confront her with an argument made her turn to who she is now.

I did not know what was going to happen.  I did not intend this; hell I didn't even forecast this.   But now I live it every day.

My chest is empty .. and yet my corpse still moves.  I leave the doors open to my apt at night hoping someone will come and murder me.

I dont like this Melinda .. and I wish for my Mindy.