What is Love?

Although I truly think my X tries to be a good parent; I still worry about my eldest.

I don't think I understand love.  When I go on dating websites I see people post all  the time saying that my children are my everything and come first in my life.

That leaves me with the thought that .. well if you are dating someone new .. does that not mean you are taking something away from your children?

I don't believe that love can be measured by normal definitions of the term measure.  And I am not sure that you can compare love from one item to another.

How is it that a woman can decide to not love a man and divorce him and yet in the same breath decide not to ever stop loving a younger boy .. who she is raising as her son.

Is it that there is a different relationship and that it is not equal so it is easier to control the relationship?

But if my Ex can fall out of love with me and dislike me for my Aspie characteristics ... how do I know she wont do the same for my eldest child?

Love kind of escapes me.  I know that I have felt it.  But just because I loved Mindy did not take away from the previous relationship with Monica.  But Mindy wanted it to.

I do not want to be non monogamous ..  I am simply stating for someone who is confused by love it is hard for me to measure and to decide who I love more and what kind of love I feel for one and not for another.

Just a few thought to think about while I drift off to sleep tonight.  I haven't used any sleeping meds for a week now.  I am off of all mood altering/ serotonin enhancing medications.  I am not having nearly the same difficulties as I was last year at this time .. yet I am still not remembering my dreams.

I think tonight I will go to sleep thinking about love and what it means to me and to others.  Hopefully I may be able to gain a little insight as I sleep on it.