What did you do?

I have always felt the Monica and I ended with unanswered questions.  I know now that these will never be answered and it does not matter how much or little I think of them ... nothing will change reality.

As I try to heal from my broken marriage I undoubtedly have questions for Melinda.  One that sticks in my mind is:

When I first told you that Robert had just kicked me out of the gym ... was your first reaction to call him and support me or to support his decision.

I put all my dreams and goals on this one thing.  Getting a promotion from BJJ Olympia and opening a gym under Robert Owens and attempting to gain wide spread acceptance for BJJ.  I hope to have a huge kids program and one day see BJJ as a high school sport like soccer.

But as Robert removed me from my family he made two things very clear. 

1) His conversations with my Wife had helped him with his decision to remove me from the gym.

2) Melinda had told him that I had child porn on my home computer and that I was concerned I was not going to receive an officially accepted black belt from the IBJJF.

I had 1 conversation with Robert for a total of less than 30 mins on the subject.  At no point did he ask me about any of this.  He asked me to think about it and we would talk tomorrow.

The next day I was late so he made a decision without me present and he sent it via email.

I never realized I could feel so much pain from a simple email.  All my friends and Family at the gym gone.  All my dreams hopes and ambitions gone.  My friendship with Robert .... gone.


My marriage failed for a 100 and 1 things I did or did not do.  But it also failed because of a thing she did or did not do.  She did not support me or try to defend me.

FML