Last month I was forced to take a psycho sexual evaluation. In short it reads .... that I am not a sexual misfit but rather I make bad choices. It described me as a abuser of women who seeks only relationship where there is a power control issue where I have power over the complete relationship ... it discusses my obsessions with women, nudity .. and the worst part;
The recommendations are that I be prohibited from the internet.
Yeah.
Wow.
I get that people feel pornography is wrong. I get that people think that a 40 yr old should never date anyone under 35. I even get that I am mental a may need counseling.
However. For someone who never leaves their apt .. who only goes to work and lives on the internet. Who's only friends are via internet and text ... this shows soooo much lack of understanding my life.
It would kill me. Not only could I not pay bills or check my bank account. I could not watch TV. I could not go shopping. I could not have friends. Or read, or laugh, or experience anything in my life that is keeping me getting better.
She went ever further to say that I should be monitored to what books I read from the book store.
I go to see my probation officer on July 17. I go to court on Aug 8th. I do not see these two things going well for me.
I would really hate going to prison for splashing water. I would really hate to loose my retirement. I would really hate to loose ever seeing my kids again.
But in reality its not about me. What will benefit society? What will benefit my kids?
I guess I have a lot of thinking to do.
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