Cancer

Strangely emotional day for me.  A lot going on.  But something that hit me ...

When I was married .. well at least when I stood in church .. I thought it would be forever.

And although I lover my ex .. and despite that am still divorced ... so it should not surprise me that I find out "news" late.

He is not part of my family. But he was once. And although we may not really have been close ... and I often times got upset with him for calling his sister a slut or say negative things about her and her life choices ... my Brother in Law .. well X now ..

I found of he has cancer.  And maybe it was going to my grandma and seeing all the photos of me and my ex.  Maybe it was my Son's B day .. maybe it was going to my others house after a year ...

but it hit me and hard.

I would never wish this on anyone and I pray for God to help him thru this.  But I am not sure why it hit me so much .. but because I knew it would have caused Mindy pain and I was not there to help her thru it.

I always thought my job was to help her thru her pain.  She called me when her grandma died .. and even before that .. other negative things she would share with me.  I guess it is finally settling in that despite me considering her my best friend ... I will never be the person to help her go thru problems.  I wont be there listening.  I wont be there to console her or to hold her.

So I guess the only thing I can do for her is offer a prayer for her brother.  And hope and pray that God grants her entire family mercy.