I find that I am not good at understanding emotion. In my past I have found out that things that seem evident to others escape me. I recall conversation past between me and my X where she would say "... I want you to want to .." and for a very long time I was not sure by what she meant at that time.
Today some ladies at work were trying to explain something to me. I don;t know why I have never learned this; yet ... It would have been a good lesson to know 15 years ago.
sometimes when I have wronged someone in the past when I would apologize I would say "I am sorry I made you angry" .. or sad or what ever it may have been.
Today they explained to me that that specific wording can often times be seen as condescending. I am told all to often that my tone is condescending. I think maybe having understood this earlier could have helped.
Now don't get me wrong. This was not an easy lesson. I had to have 2 women go over with me again and again until I understood what they meant.
Evidently .. and correct me if I am wrong, when you apologize it should be for the specific act that you did wrong. Not for the emotion that person felt. I get in a car accident I don't say I am sorry you are pissed that your car is damaged .. I say I am sorry that I hit your car.
Not sure why this was so hard to grasp .. but now I get it.
I told them .. you should never judge a woman until you have walked a mile in her ovaries. Evidently they thought that could be scene as condescending too.
I guess baby steps. one after another. I hope one day I can learn more about what makes people tick and why they do the things they do.
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