I have kind of shied away from posting lately. Not because all is better but rather all is worse.
I have court in family court. Mrs Owens has decided to add another year to her protection order. That will make it 2.5 years without my kids.
I got home early on Friday. Everything was ok. But maybe 3 days by myself thinking is too much. I say a video on youtube of a cute kid doing silly stuff and falling over. It reminds me of my own. I only own maybe 10 - 20 mins worth of video on my boys total.
But I watch it every week. I know she has no idea how much she is hurting me. I am unsure of what she is afraid of. I just want to see my kids again and be a part of their lives.
In court she states that she was worried that I might commit suicide. I was medically cleared of that in February of 2013. Now I am just sad. I just miss my kids. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to argue or even talk with anyone. I just want to see my kids again.
I have no idea what they will think when (and if) I see the again.
I am sitting at home. Alone. There is no one for me to tell this to. I hurt. I miss my children. Dearly.
Mrs. Owens was once my best friend in the entire world. Its amazing how low she has went to keep me from our children.
maybe Ill be better tomorrow. Maybe ill see them next year. Who knows. I am gonna go take a walk.
