I was reading an article about some fine art museums in Chicago. I have never been there it might be time to go see it.
There is a picture I wanted .. not sure why. I have pictures .. in my Apt. But they dont hang.
I was asked the other day about my home. I lied. I have no home.
I was reading on a psychology forum last week and discovered that many people who do not feel at home or who are transient tend not to hang items on the wall. Decorating shows permanence.
I don't feel permanent. I have things that need to be done. I need to go and file paper work with the IG. I need to go to the VA and get my disability updated. I need to hire a divorce attorney.
But why. If I don't feel permanent why make plans.
The kids room is a mess. it is a cold empty room that just has packages. And letters. and food. I buy them loot with each holiday that passes and place it in the room. Not sure why. Not sure if I will ever see them again.
A year is almost up. I am sure she will find new reasons why I can not see my kids. She threatens to call the police about my blog. Not sure why I can not express my feelings but she can gossip to anyone who will listen.
I woke up a lil rushed this morning and stubbed my toe on the way into the bathroom. I have some picture frames on the floor not hung.
the picture inside are the ones that came with the frame. I have no memories to put in there. I have no home to place them. I have no family to share them with.
My mother forced a cal on my the other night. It seems my eldest is doing well and that he got into the advanced program for middle school.
its a terrible thing to have you kids taken from you. Its even worse to be barred from your family for a year. At least they have their mom and her fiancee.
maybe my next place i will paint and put up pictures. maybe Ill go to the VA. Things can only get better from here.
